In recent times I have discovered some rather unsettling news, oh well at least to me anyways see there is a girl that I know from way back and a mutual friend told me that she is engaged to be married and lobola negotiations have already been arranged and dealt with. I know by now you may be asking yourself why I think this is disturbing to me neh? Well o sa wara dear reader I shall enlighten you in a moment. See this girl from my past, let’s just call her Ntombi was and has always been promiscuous and her licentious practice of casual sex with multiple sexual partners made her very popular in our neighbourhood. I know, I know some of you right now might be thinking that I’m an inconsiderate sexist who has no right to judge another human being. But am I really? Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against sferbs hell I’m a man and I love getting laid by a sexy loose “lady” once in a while but there is no way in hell that I’ma make a hoochie my wifey!
The first question that popped into my head when I heard this was, does the guy who is about to marry this woman know her history? Or is he just a helpless unsuspecting victim who is blinded by silky smooth skin, perky breasts and a beautiful smile? Some call it love yeap I’m talking about that chemical reaction in human’s brains that make them do stupid things like this so that they can mate, speaking of which did I also mention that Ntombi has two kids from different baby daddies which he is willingly to foster parent? Yeses what did this sfebulous put in this man’s food? tjo. Anyways as a man I condemn this type of behavior from other men, do not pay lobola for damaged goods! She should pay your for putting a ring on that worn out finger. The concept of lobola came in the time when you had to pay your wife’s family for the effort they put in raising a well, fine-looking good mannered young lady who is a VIRGIN. But watching too many Hollywood romantic chick flicks and adopting the white culture has messed African men up, we have become weak pathetic creatures that have lost our arrogance. African men should not under any circumstances at all pay lobola for damaged goods, women are always going on about “know your worth and value” so why can’t men do the same? Don’t settle for second grades majita, don’t eat left over’s neh chowing a piece of meat that has been braaied by another man is one thing but paying for it is another. Respect your last name enough to give it to a woman who is worthy, not some female who has been to Cape and Cairo.